Friday, August 07, 2009

Growing up sucks

As I sit in my cubicle 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I've been given a lot more thinking time. However what I think about isn't always positive...

I'm trying to think of who/how/what I used to be and I know I'm not that person anymore and I very much wish I still was that person. I know I've still got it in me but yet it's like I've suddenly become aware of my surroundings.

It's like when Adam and Eve took a bite of the fruit and their eyes suddenly opened, not for the better. Before that bite into the fruit, they were happy, innocent, carefree.

And I wish I was like that again ... I used to consider myself as one of those happy-go-lucky types of people. I was loud and bouncing everywhere, possibly shameless, but I didn't care. That was me and I was happy... I did what made me happy. I thrived off of getting involved in anything and everything. I never wanted to stay in or sit down. Although I placed extra-curriculars above my academics, I still managed to keep a healthy balance.

I look at myself now and I am the complete opposite.

So with that said, something needs to change... Not so much a reversion back to my old self but an embrace of who I used to be and who I want to become.

I've reflected back on what I used to do in high school and am determined to follow through with something similar in hopes of getting back this happy-go-lucky part of me to be a whole of me.