Friday, June 29, 2007

expression vs. impression

I think I've given up on watching Tree of Heaven again. Watching it the first time around, I was really attached. I could feel the heartache and wish to be loved in that way. Now watching it another time, I didn't want to continue. I don't want my heart to ache for nothing. I'm probably trying to watch it so that I could enhance the heartache I have, if any at all.

I guess everything in that sense is great for fantasy anyway. Man it would freakin' suck if it was real. I don't think I could be sad for so long. I don't want to cry for just anything.

Which reminds me, I've never shed a tear for you and I feel great about it.
Fine, if you want to play it that way - I'll do it better than you.

Sigh, I want to get better... I really do. It takes more than commitment and motivation, there needs to be dedication from those who are supposedly helping out too anyway no? Well I'm not going tonight, my arm hurts way too much from the blood test I took.

This weekend better be jam packed. I need to find more stuff to do.
I really need to dance. I've been itching for it. :(:(:(

I'm gonna put you at the back of my mind for the timebeing, is that okay?