i'm having one of those easy breezy days right now. i dont know why. well i feel easy breezy. got home, barely anything to due. but blog. and not going out for halloween this year just made me feel a tad bit more sanctified... if that's even possible. anyway i just have this sudden list of apologies that i want to get off my back... to everyone this applies to...
i'm sorry i'm not sensitive enough.
i'm sorry i don't try hard enough
i'm sorry i don't show my appreciation for everything that you do, every moment i can.
i'm sorry for the times i've spazzed out for no good reason.
i'm sorry for putting my needs before yours.
i'm sorry for not cherishing you guys.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
from becca tam's xanga
I want a boy.
A nice and bad boy.
He'll tell me we're like Corey and Topanga.
He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt.
He'll call me at 3am and ask me what i'm doing.
He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice.
He'll text me every morning before school saying "Have a great day babe I love you!".
And he always whispers something sweet in my ear.
And he wont get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends.
When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear.
He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me.
All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them.
He'll stay up with me all night when im sick.
When we're walking together he'll stop and pick up a flower and put it behind my ear.
We always end up laughing about silly fights.
And when were old he'll love me even more.
He'll tell me he'd die without me.
When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose, then I'll put some all over his face.
And we just never stop laughing.
he wouldnt be scared to cry in front of me----and would hold me when i cry ..
he'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he's ever met.
He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy balls from vending machines.
We would have contests of how far we could spit our gum, or how far we could jump off a swing.
He'll have snowball fights with me and let me win
He would grab my waist and kiss my neck.
He'll let me go places with his mom.
We would play tag and not care whos watching. We'd kiss in the rain.
And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again.
I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me,
and then go totally soft when I got sad and apologize.
I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars.
Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house
When we kissed our hips would be pressed together.
thats the boy i want to marry and to be mine forever.
but i have my own boy. and i love him the way he is. but this post was still nice to put up :) for all you hopeless romantics out there. yes you.
A nice and bad boy.
He'll tell me we're like Corey and Topanga.
He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt.
He'll call me at 3am and ask me what i'm doing.
He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice.
He'll text me every morning before school saying "Have a great day babe I love you!".
And he always whispers something sweet in my ear.
And he wont get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends.
When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear.
He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me.
All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them.
He'll stay up with me all night when im sick.
When we're walking together he'll stop and pick up a flower and put it behind my ear.
We always end up laughing about silly fights.
And when were old he'll love me even more.
He'll tell me he'd die without me.
When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose, then I'll put some all over his face.
And we just never stop laughing.
he wouldnt be scared to cry in front of me----and would hold me when i cry ..
he'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he's ever met.
He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy balls from vending machines.
We would have contests of how far we could spit our gum, or how far we could jump off a swing.
He'll have snowball fights with me and let me win
He would grab my waist and kiss my neck.
He'll let me go places with his mom.
We would play tag and not care whos watching. We'd kiss in the rain.
And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again.
I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me,
and then go totally soft when I got sad and apologize.
I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars.
Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house
When we kissed our hips would be pressed together.
thats the boy i want to marry and to be mine forever.
but i have my own boy. and i love him the way he is. but this post was still nice to put up :) for all you hopeless romantics out there. yes you.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
to thank you out of the blue
i just had this sudden pull towards gratefulness.
towards being grateful for what i've been blessed with
blessed with people like yourselves
JO: for constant reminders of how much fun we used to have and will have
BEE: for still sticking by after all these years
JEN: for everything so far, putting up with my stupidity all the time at school. its been a roller coaster ride *winkkk*
KAI: you're honestly sensational. sibs4lyfe :)
JAY: surprisingly still my BFF
AYERS+BETTY: for still trying to make an effort to keep in touch
MILLY: for understanding every aspect and for everything that we've both gone through, you've been there
NATE: for keeping me sane, for keeping me happy, and for keeping me while i'm keeping you.
towards being grateful for what i've been blessed with
blessed with people like yourselves
JO: for constant reminders of how much fun we used to have and will have
BEE: for still sticking by after all these years
JEN: for everything so far, putting up with my stupidity all the time at school. its been a roller coaster ride *winkkk*
KAI: you're honestly sensational. sibs4lyfe :)
JAY: surprisingly still my BFF
AYERS+BETTY: for still trying to make an effort to keep in touch
MILLY: for understanding every aspect and for everything that we've both gone through, you've been there
NATE: for keeping me sane, for keeping me happy, and for keeping me while i'm keeping you.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
barriers
i actually listened to the sermon today. whether the pastors leveled down, or i had to level up to them.
and this is for you people who don't go to my church to hear this...
the whole sermon was about community, cuz my church is about to go through 40 days of community, you know, the continuation of 40 days of purpose. and then it lead to talking about interpersonal relationships. i know it spoke to everyone in that room.
now that we're in the 21st century, everything is constantly changing... apparently for the better. just because we have faster access to many things, and some in more compact sizes, its supposedly better. but look at what the Internet has done to us. When most relationships in the past were developed face to face or on the phone in the past, when it was the more genuine kind as the stronger relationships had a firm foundation, putting no mask on... we now have what we call the computer. a lot of our social life now is spent on the computer, whether it be on community webpages or messenger. suddenly a lot of conversations take place, friendships being formed on the net (ie. zuup - no hard feelings to those who enjoy it), people spazzing out on msn but ending up in person there goes the silent treatment, or, the common one, professing one's undying love to another... lol, many are guilty of that one including me harhar.
even as it looks like the world is improving, its really deteriorating, whether physically or not. just take a look at your community. is it growing more distant because of a sudden preoccupation with the Internet?
well i know my thoughts are all jumbled up, but whatever. it was just that it hit me that communities are so much more distant now. ehhh... hahaha
and this is for you people who don't go to my church to hear this...
the whole sermon was about community, cuz my church is about to go through 40 days of community, you know, the continuation of 40 days of purpose. and then it lead to talking about interpersonal relationships. i know it spoke to everyone in that room.
now that we're in the 21st century, everything is constantly changing... apparently for the better. just because we have faster access to many things, and some in more compact sizes, its supposedly better. but look at what the Internet has done to us. When most relationships in the past were developed face to face or on the phone in the past, when it was the more genuine kind as the stronger relationships had a firm foundation, putting no mask on... we now have what we call the computer. a lot of our social life now is spent on the computer, whether it be on community webpages or messenger. suddenly a lot of conversations take place, friendships being formed on the net (ie. zuup - no hard feelings to those who enjoy it), people spazzing out on msn but ending up in person there goes the silent treatment, or, the common one, professing one's undying love to another... lol, many are guilty of that one including me harhar.
even as it looks like the world is improving, its really deteriorating, whether physically or not. just take a look at your community. is it growing more distant because of a sudden preoccupation with the Internet?
well i know my thoughts are all jumbled up, but whatever. it was just that it hit me that communities are so much more distant now. ehhh... hahaha
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
preparin' for a funeral
as in mine.
HONESTLY, i'm so completely lost in math and bio and it doesnt help either when i freaking just lost my bio package that i'm supposed to hand in tomoro. aaaahhhh and then sap test tomoro then world religions test on friday. both of which i was supposed to write last week. but NOOOO i had to be in europe. ahhhh i'm dying in school already. its not supposed to happen THIS early.
anyway, i better start making progress so i can parlez dans le telephone avec nathan ce soir. :)
HONESTLY, i'm so completely lost in math and bio and it doesnt help either when i freaking just lost my bio package that i'm supposed to hand in tomoro. aaaahhhh and then sap test tomoro then world religions test on friday. both of which i was supposed to write last week. but NOOOO i had to be in europe. ahhhh i'm dying in school already. its not supposed to happen THIS early.
anyway, i better start making progress so i can parlez dans le telephone avec nathan ce soir. :)
Saturday, October 01, 2005
ciao!
ahhhh i just posted a pretty long blog and it just got deleted so now i hafta write it all over again. boooo okay so as i was sayinggggg
i'm stuck here at home again. dammit.
i can't go out to see nathan today so it sucks
my parents are already having suspicions. i'll give them that
but i'm not ready to tell them, at least not yet
i was teaching my grandpa how to speak english today. he's so cool
so jen, i'm gonna leave my agenda on my doorstep and you're gonna do the hugest favour for me right. thank you darling. hope its not too hard to find the person the note is for!
feebee. cheer up hunnybunches. dont worry that thing between you and your rents is just retarded. just as long as you know you didnt do it, it shouldnt matter what they think. and i'm telling you just so you know, you didnt do it. and dont talk back even when you should defend yourself, they'll shut up faster that way =)
joeyyy. talk to the guyyyy. otherwise i will for you. and you owe me money. lol
anyway just something i hafta end off with.
nathan rocks my smelly socks. =D
i'm stuck here at home again. dammit.
i can't go out to see nathan today so it sucks
my parents are already having suspicions. i'll give them that
but i'm not ready to tell them, at least not yet
i was teaching my grandpa how to speak english today. he's so cool
so jen, i'm gonna leave my agenda on my doorstep and you're gonna do the hugest favour for me right. thank you darling. hope its not too hard to find the person the note is for!
feebee. cheer up hunnybunches. dont worry that thing between you and your rents is just retarded. just as long as you know you didnt do it, it shouldnt matter what they think. and i'm telling you just so you know, you didnt do it. and dont talk back even when you should defend yourself, they'll shut up faster that way =)
joeyyy. talk to the guyyyy. otherwise i will for you. and you owe me money. lol
anyway just something i hafta end off with.
nathan rocks my smelly socks. =D
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